Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Randomize
