How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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