Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
