in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
