Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Randomize
