thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
