If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
