swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
