dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Randomize
