And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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