Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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