is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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