i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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