Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Randomize