No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Randomize