Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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