And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
