Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize