But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
i need some magic done to my vagina
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