ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
