i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Randomize
