She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
