if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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