Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize