A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
