My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
