You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
