i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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