I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
