i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
