i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
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