She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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