It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
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