Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
