there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize