hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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