I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
