Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
No subtext here. People are naked.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
