I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
no, he came in my armpit
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Randomize
