paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
FUCK WHALES
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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