Having a random hookup so left but love u
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
