hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
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