even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
