If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
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