hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Redeem this text for a blowjob
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
