Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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