why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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