Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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