I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
