Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Randomize
