I cockslap morals
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
