tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I supernannyed him into submission
Randomize
