Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
