Her vagina should come with caution tape.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
dude. I can hear the air.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
