Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
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