seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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