wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
