I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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