I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Randomize
