from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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