This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I am midnight drunk by noon
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
