If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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