physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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