problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
just tell him i said nine months
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
