69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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