nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
